Sex

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Hebrews 13:4

David Mikel Tyree, former New York Giants NFL American football player glorifies the institution of marriage between a man and a woman

Black, white and Hispanics rallying in California for Proposition 8 (the California Marriage Protection Act) that was passed in the November 2008 state elections to uphold the institution of marriage between a man and a woman and bans marriage between two men and two women

The sexual intercourse between a man and a woman was ordained by God at the beginning of time to be enjoyed by a man (male) and a woman (female) within a marriage covenant (Mark 10:6-9; Gen. 1:28; 2:24; 4;1).  It is the safest and purest way to have a successful relationship which protects us from any shame and guilt.

Many may wonder what does sex have to do with health.  Rape (Deut. 22:25; II Sam. 13:11-14), incest (Lev. 18:6; Deut. 27:20, 22), homosexuality (Gen. 19:6, 7; Lev. 18:22; 20:13; Rom. 1:26, 27; Jude 7), prostitution (Lev. 19:29; Deut. 23:17), abortion (Job 3:16; Ex. 20:13; Ex. 23:7) and sexually transmitted diseases (stds) would cease to exist if men followed God' divine law of sexual purity.  It would also cut the huge costs of the millions of dollars that are spent on vaccines, contraception, condoms, abortion clinics and so-called safe sex programmes to combat the huge increase in stds and no one would have to wear those small red and pink ribbons on their clothing.

The following images are a distortion of God's ideal of sexual purity that is strongly promoted by government' and the entertainment industry

The distribution of condoms to men only fuels promiscuity

A lot of money wasted on safe sex because the word of God is ignored

A bin bag of innocent aborted babies

The end results of poor safe sex programmes by the British government

Sigmund Freud (1856-1939) was an Austrian Jewish neurologist and the father of psychoanalysis.  Freudism has been proven by scholars as a failure, but his phallic philosophy and distorted, twisted views that we are all just sexual beings, has sadly had a great influence on Western thought 

Marie Stopes (1880-1958) was a British Paleobotanist. She can be titled as the pioneer of the sexual revolution through her publication Married Love and she was a strong advocate of pre-marital sex and contraception

Alfred Kinsey (1894-1956) was an American biologist who was titled as the 'patron saint of sex' by Esquire magazine. His twisted views on sexuality has sadly influenced the sex education policy in the USA and the UK and his ideas known as the "Kinsey Reports" have degraded the Biblical sexual ethical code and has influenced public morality and post-war attitudes to sexual behaviour

Hugh Hefner, a US businessman and the most successful proponent of the anti-marriage movement. He was influenced by Alfred Kinsey where he produced Playboy magazine in 1953 which eroded the cultural, economic and legal barriers to mass production and distribution of porn and encouraged young men not to get married, but to be playboys. The global pornography industry (films, video games, internet, cell phones, etc.) has been estimated to be worth about  $96 billion in 2006

US rapper Jay Wayne Jenkins better known as 'Young Jeezy' promoting the Hip-Hop porn culture of being a player 

Films over the years that have promoted rape and stalking

Entertainment that has been inspired by the popularized porn culture

Grand Theft Auto IV (2008) is a violent video game that encourages rape where most of the women are portrayed as prostitutes and strippers

Cosmopolitan portrays itself as a magazine that celebrates women' independence, but in reality it is only a product of the porn culture which teaches women how to sexually lure and please a man who is not your husband, as the majority of the front covers make it clear

Young girls grow up today with a one-sided distorted image of what it means to be feminine where they are sadly sexualised at a very early age with the majority, if not all of female celebrities portrayed as very sexual in their photo shoots, music videos, films or websites

Should the women of the church (Mary, Mary) attire themselves in clothing that is no different to the world (I Tim. 2:9)? What message does it give?

Sex has been a taboo subject for years and it has sadly been portrayed as something very dirty by extreme moralists in the Western and Arab world, but in the West it has gone from one extreme to the other.  How can we train this generation in sexual purity when the churches for years have refused to deal with it because of cultural ignorance, but have been eager like the scribes and Pharisees, to make a public example of a woman who is pregnant without a husband.  The Holy Scriptures says it is better to obey than to sacrifice (I Sam. 15:23; Hos. 6:6), or in modern language prevention is better than cure and the church has no right to lambast any government' pre-marital sex agenda when it does nothing to educate it' members on this sensitive subject.

There is definitely a tug of war in our modern age on the importance of how sexual intercourse should be taught.  The fight is definitely between the ethical code of the Holy Scriptures and the agenda of secularists whose post-modern neo-liberalism invades every aspect of our lives where we are exposed and bombarded with an array of imagery via the mass media, through films, the internet, billboards, posters, magazines and via our mobile/cell phones which gives a distorted view of sexuality.

Celebrities sadly set most of the current trends in modern culture and these post-modern icons who are venerated as demigods have a great influence over the behavioural patterns of society.  It is fair to say that most celebrities (actors, musicians, sportsmen) eventually get married, but before they tie the knot, they are usually living in sin and the female is usually pregnant before her and her "beau" walk down the isle.

A British politician, Ed Miliband, the head of Britain' Labour party, who was living with his partner and two children and got married under public pressure, tried to defend his position by subtly undermining the institution of marriage in opposition to the pro-marriage agenda of Britain' Prime Minister David Cameron. 

'ED MILIBAND has insisted that parents do not need to be married before they have children and that marriage may not be right for all couples.

Speaking three days before he is due to marry his long-term girlfriend Justine Thornton, the mother of his two sons, the Labour leader said that "stable families" were more important than the institution of marriage.' (1)

If political leaders are undermining the institution of marriage it is not surprising that the young generation of today have lost all sense of values.  In 2002 the Centre for Policy Studies conducted a study on couples who were just living together and not getting married.  The results showed and proved that couples who were living together were less likely to stay together after a child was born than a couple who was married.

'Cohabiting couples are far less likely than married ones to stay together after the birth of a child, according to a research published yesterday.  More than half of cohabiting couples split up within five years of a baby arriving while only a quarter of those who are married separate within the same period.

The report, called Broken Hearts, was released by the Centre for Policy Studies to draw attention to what the centre calls the disintegration of the family.

Researchers Jill Kirby, who is also a consultant to the Conservative Party, said unless society recognised the family was under siege there was no hope of reversing the trend.

She said that while, 30 years ago, it was exceptional for children to be raised outside the married family it was now commonplace.  The children must be put first, she added.' (2)

The Royal wedding of Prince William and Catherine Middleton on Friday 29th April 2011

The Royal wedding was one of the most watched events in modern times with viewers all over the world watching the importance of the marriage institution.  Prior to them officially becoming the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge their relationship was rocky in its early stages and this was due to them living in sin.  When they split up for a while, a journalist in London' Daily Express gave the reasons why. 

'I will tell you why the relationship between Kate Middleton and and Prince William hit the rocks, and it has nothing to do with class.  It was because the happy couple were living together.  For some reason, the received wisdom has come to have it in recent years that it is best for a couple to live together before they are married whereas, where the female of the species is concerned, the opposite is the case.

When will women today finally work out that men always want what they can't have?  The reason why there are so many male commitment phobes around is because women will sleep with their man, cook for him, move in with him, all without demanding anything in return.  My female friends, wake up!  Look at any community where the privileges of marriage come only with marriage and you will find no widespread problem with commitment phobia whatsoever.  For a woman to behave like men always have when it comes to bedroom antics benefits only the male of the species, who is happy to accept sex whenever it's offered.  Free love was always one big con.' (3)

The British government' pre-marital sex agenda for teenagers and even pre-pubescent children under former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, has led to disastrous results.  Britain has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Western Europe and although it is the 112th in the world, the ridiculous belief that oral sex will reduce the high rates of teenage pregnancy is abysmal and the pagan minded sex czars who promoted and pushed this failed agenda should apologise to the parents for allowing their vulnerable children who have not fully developed yet, to engage and experiment at an early age with an act which is bound to lead to promiscuity.  Jesus is clear that our sexual desires start with our thoughts (Matt. 5:28) before they are acted out physically and God forewarns us that even foreplay and fondling will lead to pre-marital sex (I Cor. 7:1, 2).

THE TIMES, Friday, February 21, 2003

The Guardian, Monday, April 5, 2004

'Sex is more than an act.  It is a state of being.  The sex hormones flow through the entire body and have their effect on tissues, on emotions, on the philosophical outlook on life.  A man is a man, not because he looks like one, but because of basic physical and psychological developments from the moment of his conception.  When a man is all man, and a woman is truly feminine, they will attract each other.  This attraction is built into their humanity.

The sexual flow and counterflow between men and women goes on all the time, every day - on the street, in the market place, in the office.  The degree of attraction varies, and sometimes the direction varies, depending on such circumstances as time and place, and the background conditioning of those concerned.  But the potential is always there.  What develops from this attraction depends on the choices of the people involved.  It may vary from a barely recognisable awareness of the other's presence, to a flirtation, to courtship, to the most intimate relations.  But the point is that sexuality is one of the basics of human existence.

As Christians we must recognise that these sexual instincts, as all other drives, must be kept under rational control.

The intimacies of the marriage bed allow both husband and wife to demonstrate that they care for each other on a higher level and to a greater degree than they care for anyone else.  In the merging and blending of their lives certain stresses and tensions will normally develop.  Sexual union helps to ease these tensions.

Sex must not be mistaken as an end in itself.  It is not the main reason for getting married, and it follows that lack of it must not be the main reason for getting a divorce.' (4)

'A modest woman does not make an outward show of her female attributes and does not dress in a way that is sexually provocative or that attracts attention.  Based on this great biblical principle, a modest woman is careful to avoid any outward sexual display; she does not use revealing clothes, or make up, or jewellery in order order to attract the opposite sex.

The immodest woman, who appears to attract many men, finds that the respect she longs for is not there, and the more men she has, the less she is respected and the more she devalues her womanhood.  Even in our sexually liberated society men lose respect for the 'easy' woman, although they don't always say so.  Immodesty has its price.  In her book Return to Modesty, Wendy Shalit, a young Jewish woman ... believes that women who dress and act modestly conduct themselves in a way that shrouds their sexuality in mystery. (5)

Why is the institution of marriage so vital for a stable household as well as a stable society?  Though there is a very high divorce rate in the world (highest in Western countries), the institution of marriage is still fairly high.  In January 2011 two interesting articles came out in the British newspapers 'The Daily Telegraph' and 'The Economist' from recent studies done in the United States and Britain.  The studies confirmed that committed couples in a marriage have better, stronger and longer lasting relationships and those who delay sexual intercourse until after they get married, have more meaningful and healthy relationships.

Britain:

A study published in the student BMJ says that committed couples live longer than single people, with the health benefits of companionship increasing over time.  Married men are kept physically fit because their wives ensure they lead healthy lives, while women's emotional health benefits because they value being in a relationship.

David Gallacher, a trainee medic at University Hospital of Wales, and John Gallacher, a reader at Cardiff University's School of Medicine, write: "In a study of one billion persons across seven European countries the married persons had age-adjusted mortality rates that were 10-15 per cent lower than the population as a whole."

The students believe that being in a committed relationship leads to better social support - from a partner, their friends and family - which improves mental health and life choices.  Marriage is thought to provide the largest benefits, because it involves "deeper commitment" than merely living together.

Having lots of sexual partners can shorten lifespan, and divorce can have a devastating impact, the researchers claim.  Splitting up is distressing but less so for women "because they have more supportive social networks". (6)

USA:

Roughly 85% of the American population, for example, approves of pre-marital sex.

Until now, the argument that couples should wait until they married before they had sex has rated on mere assertions and anecdote.  Dean Busby and his colleagues at Bringham Young University, in Utah however, have gathered some data which support delay.

Dr Busby and his colleagues recruited 2,305 married people ranging in age from 19 to 71, and in length of marriage from less than six months to more than 20 years.  Their religious affiliations varied widely; many had none.

All were asked to complete an online questionnaire normally used to help couples understand their strengths and weaknesses.  Among the nearly 300 questions, participants were asked when they first had sex with their partners, whether their sex lives were currently good, how they resolved conflicts, and how often they thought of ending their relationships.  In addition, the questionnaire had 14 items that evaluated how good participants were at expressing empathy and understanding to their partners and how probe they were to be critical or defensive.  All questions, apart from those about frequency of sex, were answered on a five-point scale, with one indicating strong disagreement and five indicating strong agreement.

Because religiosity delays sexual activity, Dr Bushby and his colleagues also asked participants how often they attended church, how often they prayed and whether they felt spiritually was an important part of their lives.  They used the answers to control for religiosity.  They also controlled for income, education, race and length of relationship.

Their report, just published in the Journal of Family Psychology, suggests that people who delay sex do indeed have better relationships, on four different measures.  That result applies to both men and women. (7)

'We have forgotten that love is about giving, not getting.

In the world in which we live in sex education is essential - and inevitable.  Ideally, children will receive it naturally and imperceptibly from the time of their birth as part of a happy, natural and sensitive family life.  But although not every child will have that reassuring experience, all of them, whatever their home circumstances, will gather information, truth and misconception from the environment in which they live.

It is a part of the normal experience of growing up that a child meets up with the sexual folk-lore of his contemporaries.  If, in the course of his play or in the secret whisperings of the playground he hears something that he finds unbearable or inconceivable, it is stored in 'the shady side of the mind", even temporarily forgotten, until some new turn of experience brings it the surface again.  It is in this way that the child's mind, with it's own mechanism of protection, assimilates only what is ready and able to cope with.

Respect for women, and for the family, lies at the heart of the Christian faith, so that when we destroy the one, the other dies.  Without the family there is no stability, no security, no foundation upon which the children can depend as the experience of post-Revolutionary Russia so clearly demonstrated. (8)

If you are struggling with sexual temptations, whether it be fornication (pre-marital sex, pornography or masturbation), especially if you are in a courtship (relationship) which will eventually lead to marriage, then earnestly pray to God to give you divine assistance to overcome these struggles.  Avoid imagery, literature or even conversations that can ignite your sexual lower base passions, especially if you are weak in that area.

If you and your husband or wife to be have already been trapped in fornication, then spend some time apart from each other so that you can see that your courtship is not solely rooted in lust and that you are not soul tied through a sexual liaison (Gen. 34:1-3), for sexual intercourse makes you one flesh (I Cor. 6:16).  Spend a lot more time with each other in deep solemn prayer so that the Lord can deliver you from 'deceitful lusts' and strengthen your eventual sacred bond to be.  Some sins are inherited and passed down from generation to generation (Ex. 20:5), but God can break these curses and can turn a curse into a blessing (Deut. 23:5) and this can only be down if you pray the deep prayer of the prophet Daniel, whereby you ask the LORD Almighty to break the chains of your inherited sins as well as your current sins also (Dan. 9:16).  Let us pray that we do not get trapped in the lusts of the flesh.  It can be easy to get enticed, but pray that we can ask God for deliverance.

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptations also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

I Corinthians 10:13

Source: (1) The Daily Telegraph, Tuesday, May 24, 2011; (2) METRO, Monday, February 11, 2002; (3) Daily Express, Thursday, April 19, 2007; (4) Christian Sex and Family Planning by Raymond H. Woolsey pp. 8, 9, 12; (5) Lessons in Depravity by ES Williams pp. 255, 256, 257; (6) The Daily Telegraph, Friday, January 28, 2011; (7) The Economist, January 22, 2011; (8) Whatever Happened to Sex by Mary Whitehouse pp. 26, 27, 189, 190, 193, 195 

Recommended reading: The Marriage Covenant and Sexual Sin by Al & Colette Martin